Chapter 59: Looking Ahead

The next morning, Julianna and Richie headed for Manhattan. They had the radio tuned to a classic rock station, and sang along with nearly every song they heard. Julianna laughed when “Livin’ on a Prayer” came on, and Richie pulled a face.

“What’s the matter, baby?” she asked.

“Classic rock? This song is classic rock?” Richie did indignant well. “Why not play it on an oldies station, then?”

“Yeah, well it is twenty years old,” Julianna said. “That counts as classic rock, you know. You should be flattered.”

“Flattered?”

“Yeah, not all the boy bands of the 80’s are considered classic rock.” Julianna was smirking. She knew that would push his buttons.

Richie nearly plowed Julianna’s car into the guardrail. “B-b-boy band? BOY BAND! What the –” he broke off when he heard great gales of laughter coming from the passenger seat. “You bitch!” he said, joining in her laughter. “If Jon ever heard you refer to us as a boy band, he’d KILL you!”

“No, he wouldn’t. He likes me,” Julianna countered, smugly.

“Oh yeah?” Richie pulled out his cell and pressed a button. “Yeah, man, it’s me,” he said into the phone. “So, how do you feel about us being called one of the boy bands of the 80’s?”

Richie pulled the phone away from his ear, wincing, and Julianna could hear colorful Jersey language coming from the tiny speaker. That made her start laughing again. She pulled the phone from Richie’s hand, and yelled into it. “Jon! Jon!” Finally, it got quiet on the other end. “I was kidding.”

“That was you that said that?” Jon was incredulous. “How could you? We like you!”

Julianna laughed. “Sorry, but Rich was acting all sad about hearing ‘Prayer’ on a classic rock station, and I was trying to cheer him up!”

“Well hell, Julianna, fuck him next time! Don’t call us a boy band, for Christ’s sake.” Jon hung up on Julianna’s strangled giggles.

“What’s so funny?” Richie wanted to know. “Why aren’t you in tears from the lashing you should have gotten?”

Julianna slid over closer and dropped a hand in to Richie’s lap, making him jump and jerk the steering wheel a little. “Well,” she said, whispering in his ear. “Jon said next time you need cheering up, I should just fuck you instead of calling Bon Jovi a boy band.”

“I think I’m feeling a little sad,” he said, pulling a face that would make angels weep. “Can you cheer me up?”

“Can you wait until we get ho – to the apartment?” Dammit, she thought. That slip again. She didn’t understand why her subconscious was so far ahead of where she and Richie were.

“Yes, darlin’,” he answered, his eyes soft and full of love. “I can wait until we get home.”

“Sorry about that,” Julianna said. “It just keeps popping out. I don’t know why.”

“I do,” Richie said. He checked the rearview mirror and pulled off to the side of the road. He stopped the car and turned to face Julianna, taking her hands. “You keep saying that because it’s the way we both feel. You can’t deny it – I know you feel that this is it – that whenever we’re together, it feels like home. Julianna, I think you feel that this is forever.”

Julianna gasped. “That isn’t what I meant –”

“Yeah, it is,” Richie insisted. “I feel it too. These last few days have been perfect. We’ve gotten into a routine that seems so natural, like we’ve been doing it forever.” He squeezed Julianna’s hands gently, and waited for her to look him in the eyes. “Can you honestly tell me that you aren’t thinking ahead to what happens after the show opens?”

“No, I can’t say that,” Julianna answered. She had been. She had been wondering what was going to happen when he went back to LA and she went back to Connecticut. She was afraid to plan for anything past the end of the summer, because she didn’t know if this was really as strong as she thought it was. Looking into Richie’s eyes, she saw now that it was.

“I’ve been thinking, too,” he said. “There are lots of logistical things to work out, but bottom line, I don’t want to go back to LA – not alone.”

Julianna stared. “But I can’t --” she started in protest.

Richie held up a hand. “And I’m not asking you to. I said there were logistical things to work out, and I’m working on them.” He sighed. “This really isn’t where I wanted to get into this,” he said, sighing again. “Heather was talking about relocating to New York; the California scene isn’t treating her too well right now. Plus, there’s a guy in her life,” he paused for a moment, “and he lives in New York. He wants her and Ava to move closer.”

“So, you’re thinking about moving to the city?”

“Well, if it ends up being where my daughter will be, then yeah; or close to anyway.” Richie looked at Julianna, trying to gauge her reaction to that. He really hadn’t wanted to mention anything to her until things were finalized with Heather – no sense in getting their hopes up until he had things worked out.

Julianna was thinking. On the one hand, she was ecstatic that he was considering relocating to her side of the country. On the other hand, she couldn’t help but see the regret in his face when he was talking about his ex-wife and her new love interest. She was quiet for so long, that Richie started getting nervous.

“I gotta say, Jules,” he said softly, “I thought this would please you; at least a little.”

Julianna looked at him closely. “I won’t lie to you, I’m very happy that you’re considering moving out here; I just want to make sure it’s for your daughter, and not for your ex-wife.” Richie just looked at her.

“How can you say that?”

“What was that pause all about? Do you have regrets about your ex-wife?” Julianna knew she sounded like a petulant child, and she couldn’t believe she just asked him that. This was not the time or place to get into it, but she couldn’t take it back now; and besides, she really wanted to know.

Richie considered her question. “I regret the way we handled things, but no, I don’t regret that she’s my ex-wife now. I spent a lot of time looking at our relationship.” He laced his fingers with Julianna’s and continued. “We weren’t going to get any better. Even if all the shit that happened didn’t happen, we couldn’t sustain ‘us’ anymore.” Richie searched Julianna’s face, trying to gauge what she was thinking.

Julianna nodded thoughtfully. “OK, I believe you. Sorry, old habits are hard to break, I guess.” She smiled sadly. “It’s been so long since I could trust a man implicitly; I don’t think I remember what that feels like.”

Richie’s heart was breaking for her. “I’m not asking for implicit trust. You have questions; all you have to do is ask. I will never lie to you. I do ask you to trust me, at least a little. At least trust what you’re feeling and what we have together.”

Julianna nodded. “I can do that,” she said.

“Good,” Richie replied. “Now, how much longer until we’re home?” He had lust in his voice and a twinkle in his eye.

“Not as long as it will take if we stay here yapping,” Julianna answered.

With squealing tires, Richie sped them away.